i think i'm afraid of words.
and blogs.
and...
failure.
but, that's not true... it's more about disappointing myself really...
i've been wanting to write, but, what for, you, me... i think, "i should just write in my journal," but, that doesn't happen either.
life tends to get in the way, and the man with no schedule can't make time for time, if you know what i mean.
15 minutes late for my own... life.
but i'm on the happiness train, and it's almost ready to come to a halt at the station.
art-a-whirl is this weekend,the northeast minneapolis art crawl that happens every year... somehow they figured that they are expecting 50,000 people to attend, twice of last year.
they must be in with the aliens, because i have absolutely NO idea, how they attempt to figure that out.
regardless, over the course of the month i was on the road, i managed to not slack enrirely, and interviewed 31 people for my project. i've spent the last three days editing the images, downloading the audio, and masterminding the final result. which, still needs a little mastering of the mind, but i'm feeling pretty good about it coming together.
last year i was still hanging the pieces friday night. when, the whirl was in full effect. yeah... it was cool though, my now good friend beth van dam helped me enormously for 11 hours. she fucking rocks. and she got interviewed. that's right.
so should you.
i think this is going to be the rough draft of what i could see as a pretty cool web presentation, and a book. my mom said, "you should think about making a book."
great idea mom.
before i make book plans though, i need to go to bed.
is anybody out there?
anyone?
care to let me know what makes you happy?
sometimes it's good to hear.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I'll catch you next time, California...
Phoenix, AZ
so i've decided that i need to figure out how to get paid to travel, and work on projects.
i arrived in phoenix yesterday, where my good friend Chad that i've known since i was 14 lives. it's like coming home, to the desert! comfortable, and very unique to my mid-western brain. i think i had a smile a mile wide when i saw my first huge cactus on the side of the road. i am a small boy of wonder and joy trapped in the body of a man.
i think i have bloggers block.
and, i just got the cue that it's time to shower, and go celebrate the one year birthday of the daughter of one of chad's friends.
i spent a night in san diego, went to diner with my friend christina that i met when i did my across america project in 2001, then ended up at the banana bungalo hostel where i was staying, in pacific beach, and stayed up until 5 in the morning, playing the loosest game of texas hold'em i've even played, followed by interviewing an australian man, and a french woman, and french man. i was the representation of american politics. i'm not sure if that's what "we" want, but...
i don't know aobut going back... there should have been a san diego entry, another LA entry... i've been having a blast and virtually 0% troubles...
i miss my cat.
and it will be nice to see, "the people."
but i should go... chad remembers that i am known as "the turtle."
i've interviewed 21 people so far, which i'm feeling decent about. i've been a little hard on myself, which i think would make great fodder for, another blog...
so i've decided that i need to figure out how to get paid to travel, and work on projects.
i arrived in phoenix yesterday, where my good friend Chad that i've known since i was 14 lives. it's like coming home, to the desert! comfortable, and very unique to my mid-western brain. i think i had a smile a mile wide when i saw my first huge cactus on the side of the road. i am a small boy of wonder and joy trapped in the body of a man.
i think i have bloggers block.
and, i just got the cue that it's time to shower, and go celebrate the one year birthday of the daughter of one of chad's friends.
i spent a night in san diego, went to diner with my friend christina that i met when i did my across america project in 2001, then ended up at the banana bungalo hostel where i was staying, in pacific beach, and stayed up until 5 in the morning, playing the loosest game of texas hold'em i've even played, followed by interviewing an australian man, and a french woman, and french man. i was the representation of american politics. i'm not sure if that's what "we" want, but...
i don't know aobut going back... there should have been a san diego entry, another LA entry... i've been having a blast and virtually 0% troubles...
i miss my cat.
and it will be nice to see, "the people."
but i should go... chad remembers that i am known as "the turtle."
i've interviewed 21 people so far, which i'm feeling decent about. i've been a little hard on myself, which i think would make great fodder for, another blog...
Friday, February 22, 2008
for i am but a burning tumbleweed, lost in the desert.
Los Angeles, California
hi.
i'm here for my audition for the films?
right over there?
perfect.
***
so i wanted to have, Sacramento, CA, and maybe even another, San Francisco, CA, but, life has a funny way of getting IN the way of, blogging...
and speaking of... i don't know what i think of blogging. i do know that i think i like just writing my e-mails better... they are (normally) not as frequent, i get, "in the zone," and, it's like i think of no one and silly words pour out of my fingers and ZAP! words are sent and you are forced to read them, or, ignore them, or, curse them, or...
blogging seems like this weird pressure. knowing, that less people are reading this (i assume) than the e-mail list... it's like when (if any of you still do) you go to write a letter, and keep putting if off because you think in the back of your brain that it's going to take you forever to write that letter so you never quite, get around to it.
this is the dance of the blog.
plus, blog is just a silly, silly word.
i guess it's fitting.
***
so i'm in LA, blogging?
yes.
let's get this over with and go engage in life.
which, gives me a side note: prior to this i've never been engaged in the blogger realm, and i have checked out some "blogs of note" over the course of the involvement, and i came across this woman who was writing about... her day off. she called it something... i think it's in some blog somewhere...
but she is "plugged in," to the point that she decided to perform an experiment. for one day a week, she was going to shut off the computer, cell phone, her digital medial library (ok i made that one up), and, disengage for that day.
she's going to do it for 52 weeks.
she was on the frickin' today show.
all, of these people were responding as if they too could relate to this new religion...
makes me shake my head about our evolution... think of the days of sitting around the radio... my grandfather's generation, not, so long ago.
kind of sad.
send me a text, we'll talk about it...
***
so i went to Sacramento last monday, say my friend Todd who used to work at the Minnesota Daily with me, he was the editor that pushed for my Above the Ashes 9/11 project... an 8 page color insert by the way... my swan song at the Daily, which, is really where i learned to be a working photographer...
i heart the daily.
but it was really, good to see him. he's a reporter at the Sacramento Bee, lives with his girlfriend Lisa, a columnist at the paper (read inter-office romance... well, that started on the kickball field), and they are a great couple.
Lisa loves to cook a big end of the weekend meal.
this one, consisted of: grilled leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, capresi salad, asparagus, AND home made blueberry cobbler, with, cool whip, picked up by myself and Todd, at the store.
it was a night of never-ending conversation... well, it ended when we went to bed, but, it was really a great night, and the next morning, we went to lucky's cafe, learned that one shouldn't date a correctional officer (our waitresses advice), and that i can eat more than Todd.
We then did my first interview for the project. Todd was nervous. it was cute.
then, todd interviewed me.
i had stacked my answer.
;^)
and so it begins, and, needs to continue.
i think blogging is for the twilight, and the day needs to see my face.
today is only yesterday if you let it be...
hi.
i'm here for my audition for the films?
right over there?
perfect.
***
so i wanted to have, Sacramento, CA, and maybe even another, San Francisco, CA, but, life has a funny way of getting IN the way of, blogging...
and speaking of... i don't know what i think of blogging. i do know that i think i like just writing my e-mails better... they are (normally) not as frequent, i get, "in the zone," and, it's like i think of no one and silly words pour out of my fingers and ZAP! words are sent and you are forced to read them, or, ignore them, or, curse them, or...
blogging seems like this weird pressure. knowing, that less people are reading this (i assume) than the e-mail list... it's like when (if any of you still do) you go to write a letter, and keep putting if off because you think in the back of your brain that it's going to take you forever to write that letter so you never quite, get around to it.
this is the dance of the blog.
plus, blog is just a silly, silly word.
i guess it's fitting.
***
so i'm in LA, blogging?
yes.
let's get this over with and go engage in life.
which, gives me a side note: prior to this i've never been engaged in the blogger realm, and i have checked out some "blogs of note" over the course of the involvement, and i came across this woman who was writing about... her day off. she called it something... i think it's in some blog somewhere...
but she is "plugged in," to the point that she decided to perform an experiment. for one day a week, she was going to shut off the computer, cell phone, her digital medial library (ok i made that one up), and, disengage for that day.
she's going to do it for 52 weeks.
she was on the frickin' today show.
all, of these people were responding as if they too could relate to this new religion...
makes me shake my head about our evolution... think of the days of sitting around the radio... my grandfather's generation, not, so long ago.
kind of sad.
send me a text, we'll talk about it...
***
so i went to Sacramento last monday, say my friend Todd who used to work at the Minnesota Daily with me, he was the editor that pushed for my Above the Ashes 9/11 project... an 8 page color insert by the way... my swan song at the Daily, which, is really where i learned to be a working photographer...
i heart the daily.
but it was really, good to see him. he's a reporter at the Sacramento Bee, lives with his girlfriend Lisa, a columnist at the paper (read inter-office romance... well, that started on the kickball field), and they are a great couple.
Lisa loves to cook a big end of the weekend meal.
this one, consisted of: grilled leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, capresi salad, asparagus, AND home made blueberry cobbler, with, cool whip, picked up by myself and Todd, at the store.
it was a night of never-ending conversation... well, it ended when we went to bed, but, it was really a great night, and the next morning, we went to lucky's cafe, learned that one shouldn't date a correctional officer (our waitresses advice), and that i can eat more than Todd.
We then did my first interview for the project. Todd was nervous. it was cute.
then, todd interviewed me.
i had stacked my answer.
;^)
and so it begins, and, needs to continue.
i think blogging is for the twilight, and the day needs to see my face.
today is only yesterday if you let it be...
Saturday, February 16, 2008
San Francisco, California
today i turned 37 in san francisco.
it happened like i was turning 27.
tahoe, is very, very beautiful.
take your family there for a very expensive vacation.
we arrived in san francisco thursday night... valentine's day.... the day before the 15th, which is really just a hump day between valentine's day and my birthday.
so out of the way and my day is here.
not unlike yesterday, and much like tomorrow will be, the years pass and there is only so much that changes until one day you realize that, something has.
i think we all have a 27 year old version of ourselves, and every once in a while we'll look in the mirror and say, "man, i'm getting old..."
the body, it ages...
but since i am busy being 27, we went out last night and stayed up until 5:30 in the morning... kings of the jungle... or, queens of the techno... we stayed with meghan's friends asha and eddie, and, they are what one would call the most wonderful couple. generous, hospitable, FUN(!), least we remember that. we went to some park overlooking the bay, asha, meghan and i, then went into the mission, got some lunch and hung out at delores park.... kind of like a hippie throwback that everyone is invited to... the young and the restless... my sister's boyfriend paul met us there, and we walked around the city some, before my sister met up with us to eat at the front porch... kind of hip, kind of overpriced, kind of fun because we were with 7 people i think, and it gelled really nicely.
we then went out to see a minneapolis DJ at "the wish," then home, then out to some hoppin' club that started with an "M."
then home again, to dance some more.
the party, never really stopped.
details make pondering difficult.
how long is too long?
what do you really want to know?
the project starts soon.
what makes you happy?
how do you define happiness?
what should i ask people?
who will care to see us when we're old?
***
(this is not) then (this is now)
it happened like i was turning 27.
tahoe, is very, very beautiful.
take your family there for a very expensive vacation.
we arrived in san francisco thursday night... valentine's day.... the day before the 15th, which is really just a hump day between valentine's day and my birthday.
so out of the way and my day is here.
not unlike yesterday, and much like tomorrow will be, the years pass and there is only so much that changes until one day you realize that, something has.
i think we all have a 27 year old version of ourselves, and every once in a while we'll look in the mirror and say, "man, i'm getting old..."
the body, it ages...
but since i am busy being 27, we went out last night and stayed up until 5:30 in the morning... kings of the jungle... or, queens of the techno... we stayed with meghan's friends asha and eddie, and, they are what one would call the most wonderful couple. generous, hospitable, FUN(!), least we remember that. we went to some park overlooking the bay, asha, meghan and i, then went into the mission, got some lunch and hung out at delores park.... kind of like a hippie throwback that everyone is invited to... the young and the restless... my sister's boyfriend paul met us there, and we walked around the city some, before my sister met up with us to eat at the front porch... kind of hip, kind of overpriced, kind of fun because we were with 7 people i think, and it gelled really nicely.
we then went out to see a minneapolis DJ at "the wish," then home, then out to some hoppin' club that started with an "M."
then home again, to dance some more.
the party, never really stopped.
details make pondering difficult.
how long is too long?
what do you really want to know?
the project starts soon.
what makes you happy?
how do you define happiness?
what should i ask people?
who will care to see us when we're old?
***
(this is not) then (this is now)
Monday, February 11, 2008
South Lake Tahoe!!!
Ok, that last 'blog,' seemed like it needed it's own stage.
and i will apologize. it's going to take some practice to overcome quantity vs. quality.
i guess i like to type.
it's not all going to be roses.
like, vacationing, in tahoe.
and speaking of, on "this" tip, we, made it.
two days of driving, 1930 miles later, we arrived, after, dominatrius told us to go past reno, and around the entire lake, when, we were on the east side of s. lake tahoe... (it's his 3rd week)
we were so beat going out wasn't an option. we did a jacuzzi and hit the hay.
got out asses up at like 7am, and hit the slopes.
this vacationing is hard work, for real.
we were at heavenly today, and, although there is record snowfall here this yeah, they haven't seen any for a bit, so, it was a little, less than heavenly, until we met up with meghan's old high school friend jason, who took us to a spot in the trees that still had some (old as f@ck) freshie, but, it was still better than what we had been riding.
it was a super nice, sunny, 45 degree day though, so, whenever you are no longer in Afton Alps, it's all good.
meghan and i resolved that this blog will be the personal blog. i'm thinking, a lot of words, people, but i was going to say "NO PHOTOS!?" but meghan had a good point that i could indeed have photos that were relevant, and just have another blog that is my photo blog. well, i won't hold things to being relevant, but i do think that's a great idea, and solution to my consideration.
personal, and professional.
a split personality play due out this spring.
and i will apologize. it's going to take some practice to overcome quantity vs. quality.
i guess i like to type.
it's not all going to be roses.
like, vacationing, in tahoe.
and speaking of, on "this" tip, we, made it.
two days of driving, 1930 miles later, we arrived, after, dominatrius told us to go past reno, and around the entire lake, when, we were on the east side of s. lake tahoe... (it's his 3rd week)
we were so beat going out wasn't an option. we did a jacuzzi and hit the hay.
got out asses up at like 7am, and hit the slopes.
this vacationing is hard work, for real.
we were at heavenly today, and, although there is record snowfall here this yeah, they haven't seen any for a bit, so, it was a little, less than heavenly, until we met up with meghan's old high school friend jason, who took us to a spot in the trees that still had some (old as f@ck) freshie, but, it was still better than what we had been riding.
it was a super nice, sunny, 45 degree day though, so, whenever you are no longer in Afton Alps, it's all good.
meghan and i resolved that this blog will be the personal blog. i'm thinking, a lot of words, people, but i was going to say "NO PHOTOS!?" but meghan had a good point that i could indeed have photos that were relevant, and just have another blog that is my photo blog. well, i won't hold things to being relevant, but i do think that's a great idea, and solution to my consideration.
personal, and professional.
a split personality play due out this spring.
now i have bloggers block
it's true.
now that this is official, it's like, getting the dream job you've always wanted, only to realize that, your dream job, wasn't as cool as you thought it was going to be.
ok, well, it's not THAT bad, but, it is a little like, ok, now this has go to be SOMETHING!
but maybe something is nothing, and it doesn't matter what is it i write.
but now i've got all this pressure, to, you know, make my living off blogging.
no i'm fucking serious.
someday, i'm going to try and make you click on things.
now that this is official, it's like, getting the dream job you've always wanted, only to realize that, your dream job, wasn't as cool as you thought it was going to be.
ok, well, it's not THAT bad, but, it is a little like, ok, now this has go to be SOMETHING!
but maybe something is nothing, and it doesn't matter what is it i write.
but now i've got all this pressure, to, you know, make my living off blogging.
no i'm fucking serious.
someday, i'm going to try and make you click on things.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Rawlins, Wyoming
we, are so on the road.
and, i have access to a computer that can sit right on my lap for the whole week! thank you, gfm.
i have a feeling like this could end up like my journal journals, where i get into this habit of just giving stale details of the day, and use up the energy which misses out on anything that might be insightful. profound is for the dedicated mind.
mine, wonders why i didn't bring this one little USB cord so i could hook it up to my point and shoot and upload photos i'm taking all week, making this MORE of a photo blog than a word blog. (i do have a card reader for the "real" camera.... but, it's so... conspicuous...)
i words vs. photos: it's going to be like the business side vs. the editorial side when i worked at the Minnesota Daily (if i knew how to be fancy and add the hotlink, i would... www.mndaily.com
i have no idea what they are up to, but the daily was a big part of what allowed me to cut my teeth, and get a feel for what it was like to be a working photographer.
and speaking of, a photo friend of mine Tony Nelson referred me to Teen Vogue to shoot a runway fashion spread, and a party for them, as he'll be down at the SXSW this year in Austin, TX. i went for about 5 years in a row in the late 90's, early 2000 era, and, had more fun than i can blog about.
so i have been secretly wanting to go super bad this year, was going to call the City Pages and see if i could get in, then i get this call for Teen Vogue and figure it wasn't meant to me.
well, today, i get a call from my old friend Mark Baumgarten, asking me, "hey, you want to come down to the SXSW and be my photographer this year?"
oy vey! so, the deadline was today, he put my name down... and said he'll make up some grand illness for me if i can't do it.
i was thinking that the Teen Vogue thing wasn't totally in the bag, but she e-mailed me today looking or a videoographer as well... so it's looking like a sure deal...
i tell ya... this whole getting what you ask for thing you have to watch out for...
i might have to actually become responsible, and take the job job, which, will be pretty cool, but, it's no SXSW. and it's a weekend (down south) vs. only 4 hours over 2 days for Teen Vogue. oh my head...
so i'll figure that out later.
i got up at 5:45 today to my second alarm, the loud one, after going to bed at 3 am... waking up, wondering what the emergency broadcasting emergency was all about....
we were on the road by 7:30... quite impressive if you ask me... although, it wasn't enough to get us to Salt Lake City, where one James Patrick (Schortymeyer) was waiting our arrival... i think that Rawlins is something like 4-5 hours from SLC... it was 10 pm when we stopped driving... sorry shorty!!!
hopefully i'll see him tomorrow.
meghan and i had a blast, we, are good company. lots of laughs and games and singing and general, all around good times. (that was my PR statement)
i wish i was more of a photographer, i shot some pay phones... another dying out project i think i started, and, rest area life.
i did not however, gather the courage to photograph the convenience store attendants... which, i so should, but i get all weirded out about infringing on their space and comfort... so, i chicken out.
:^( sometimes if it's not for a job i get cold feet.
it's true.
but after tahoe when "the project" starts, there will be courage coming through my pores.
the thing that comes to mind the most about the way here, was that not too far past cheyenne, there were gusts of wind up to 55 MPH (the sign told us so), and along the way we saw TWO big semis with trailers blown over on their side! we also saw a big RV trailer blown over...
can you say, bummer? can we imagine ms. meghan totally freaking out about? adds to the driving experience...
it was pretty crazy though, as i had never seen anything like that in my life.
***
on the subject of what makes you happy, i realized today (as i often do) traveling makes me very, very happy. there's something about the inspiration of new environments that is so invigorating, it really makes my spirits rise.
so true.
on could say, i need it.
like... sleep.
so, what's making you happy today?
and, i have access to a computer that can sit right on my lap for the whole week! thank you, gfm.
i have a feeling like this could end up like my journal journals, where i get into this habit of just giving stale details of the day, and use up the energy which misses out on anything that might be insightful. profound is for the dedicated mind.
mine, wonders why i didn't bring this one little USB cord so i could hook it up to my point and shoot and upload photos i'm taking all week, making this MORE of a photo blog than a word blog. (i do have a card reader for the "real" camera.... but, it's so... conspicuous...)
i words vs. photos: it's going to be like the business side vs. the editorial side when i worked at the Minnesota Daily (if i knew how to be fancy and add the hotlink, i would... www.mndaily.com
i have no idea what they are up to, but the daily was a big part of what allowed me to cut my teeth, and get a feel for what it was like to be a working photographer.
and speaking of, a photo friend of mine Tony Nelson referred me to Teen Vogue to shoot a runway fashion spread, and a party for them, as he'll be down at the SXSW this year in Austin, TX. i went for about 5 years in a row in the late 90's, early 2000 era, and, had more fun than i can blog about.
so i have been secretly wanting to go super bad this year, was going to call the City Pages and see if i could get in, then i get this call for Teen Vogue and figure it wasn't meant to me.
well, today, i get a call from my old friend Mark Baumgarten, asking me, "hey, you want to come down to the SXSW and be my photographer this year?"
oy vey! so, the deadline was today, he put my name down... and said he'll make up some grand illness for me if i can't do it.
i was thinking that the Teen Vogue thing wasn't totally in the bag, but she e-mailed me today looking or a videoographer as well... so it's looking like a sure deal...
i tell ya... this whole getting what you ask for thing you have to watch out for...
i might have to actually become responsible, and take the job job, which, will be pretty cool, but, it's no SXSW. and it's a weekend (down south) vs. only 4 hours over 2 days for Teen Vogue. oh my head...
so i'll figure that out later.
i got up at 5:45 today to my second alarm, the loud one, after going to bed at 3 am... waking up, wondering what the emergency broadcasting emergency was all about....
we were on the road by 7:30... quite impressive if you ask me... although, it wasn't enough to get us to Salt Lake City, where one James Patrick (Schortymeyer) was waiting our arrival... i think that Rawlins is something like 4-5 hours from SLC... it was 10 pm when we stopped driving... sorry shorty!!!
hopefully i'll see him tomorrow.
meghan and i had a blast, we, are good company. lots of laughs and games and singing and general, all around good times. (that was my PR statement)
i wish i was more of a photographer, i shot some pay phones... another dying out project i think i started, and, rest area life.
i did not however, gather the courage to photograph the convenience store attendants... which, i so should, but i get all weirded out about infringing on their space and comfort... so, i chicken out.
:^( sometimes if it's not for a job i get cold feet.
it's true.
but after tahoe when "the project" starts, there will be courage coming through my pores.
the thing that comes to mind the most about the way here, was that not too far past cheyenne, there were gusts of wind up to 55 MPH (the sign told us so), and along the way we saw TWO big semis with trailers blown over on their side! we also saw a big RV trailer blown over...
can you say, bummer? can we imagine ms. meghan totally freaking out about? adds to the driving experience...
it was pretty crazy though, as i had never seen anything like that in my life.
***
on the subject of what makes you happy, i realized today (as i often do) traveling makes me very, very happy. there's something about the inspiration of new environments that is so invigorating, it really makes my spirits rise.
so true.
on could say, i need it.
like... sleep.
so, what's making you happy today?
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